Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize