i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
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I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
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You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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