You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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