Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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