Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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