Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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