Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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