dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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