she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize