I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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