I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize