she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i've created a new STD.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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