I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i will never coherently bang her
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize