we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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