I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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