i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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