The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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