Screwed.edu
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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