i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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