I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize