im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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