I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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