its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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