I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize