dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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