I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Small penises have feelings too.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize