just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize