What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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