That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize