people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize