gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Fuck appropriateness.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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