Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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