Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize