is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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