Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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