we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize