I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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