There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize