me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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