There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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