I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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