This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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