'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the raccoons are back...
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