He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize