Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize