We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
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I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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