Plan B is the new Plan A
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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