She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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