She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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