she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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