Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize